Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
