yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
