Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He? As in you personified your dick?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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