carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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