Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
