I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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