oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Randomize
