Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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