he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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