Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
