I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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