He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
