would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
