absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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