Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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