Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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