So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
