I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
