Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
