What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I could fuck to npr.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
