I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
