you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
