drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
