batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
