Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
