I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
the liver wants what the liver wants
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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