it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
