Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
