when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
