yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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