Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
