maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
