Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
