Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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