It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
