It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
