I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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