Absence makes the cock grow harder.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
