using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
