I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
