you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
