she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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