I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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