I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
