your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
