This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
