so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
