Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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