so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
