I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
