Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
