she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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